how I learned to love myself

Learning to love myself has been such a journey. So many experiences needed to happen for me to get back to seeing my value. It's sad to say, I forgot about the value I had but I hope talking about it might help someone else remember their value too. Here are a few things that have helped me so far...

1. FINDING SIMILAR PEOPLE TO ME

The good thing about this age of social media is being able to find people who are like us, that we can relate to, and not feel so alone in what we're feeling. YouTube and Instagram has been a great place for me to find people who look like me. I can follow their stories and see the representation I need, a hear how they deal with similar struggles and it really helps me see that it might not even be a struggle but an opportunity.

As a midsized woman now after having a baby, I struggled with finding clothes that fit and look good on my body. I tried squeezing into my old clothes, wearing huge oversized dresses, and buying stretchy clothes that still highlighted my round belly. I had no good examples of women loving their bodies and looking good doing it. But as I searched YouTube and Instagram, I found Carys Whittaker. She's a British mid-sized Mama of 2, finding clothes that actually look amazing on her and would on any midsized woman. She shows the clothing fails and wins, and she taught me it's not me, it's the clothes. She inspired me to come out of depression and to buy the right clothes for my body.

Now I've created the perfect versatile capsule wardrobe, that I get complements on all the time. Now I can love my body as it is now, and I can continue to dress it along my journey no matter what my weight is. 

2. THERAPY

Therapy has been an invaluable tool to create peace in my heart. Therapy has helped me to put experiences of life into perspective. Therapy has also taught me how to fix my communication style to create peace in my home with my husband. Now I can express my emotions and thoughts, while also actively listening to others, and creatign a safe space for my husband and son to openly express themselves too. Healing definitely starts within, and I'm so glad we invested in healing for our family. 

3. SELF-CARE

I have found that self-care is actually non-negotiable. There's a sadness that sits on my head if I don't do a few things each day. For me, this is what I have to do daily to feel taken care of:

• Cleaning: I must clean the space I'm in and I love cleaning before bed so I can walk into a fresh clean space in the morning. 
• Natural Light: I love opening windows and letting in the natural light every morning. The natural vitamin D, gives me an indescribable boost. 
• Getting dressed in the morning: Doing something quick with my hair, and putting clothes on that make me feel good always gives me a pep in my step. If I take the added step of putting on makeup, I feel like I can do anything. 
• Skincare: I love my Glow Recipe, I do see a small difference in the brightness of my skin. I don't use it everyday though, I love a good hydrating face mask, or even just my classic Bioderma Atoderm moisturizer. My skin is genetically quite easy going, but little pick me ups go a long way. 
• Lighting a candle and meditating: Candles have always helped me feel grounded, as well as mediating to calm my stress. So many times, I have felt like I couldn't breathe because of the anxiety and overwhelm of having too many things to do. When I finally do complete a mediation session, my heart rate decreases, and my breathing goes from laboured to normal. 
• Prayer: I've been trying to create a closer relationship with God, and prayer has been my way. I've prayed every night for over 2 years with my son at nighttime before he goes the bed, just before his custom lullaby. It's created such a beautiful routine for my son, and something he looks forward to and teaches him about spirituality. The calm all of us as a family feel before bed is truly unmatched.

4. REINTRODUCING MYSELF TO THE OLD ME

I took a look back in time. I visited my parents' home and looked through the photo albums at the younger version of myself. I've always been quiet, but I had so much confidence back then. Of course, I had things I was self-conscious about but nothing that held me back. I took the time to clean out the old memories from my childhood bedroom closet. I found a solid gold necklace a relative gave me with my name in Arabic, and old cards from people who would miss me when I left my internship. They described someone with endless positivity, a beautiful genuine smile, and just a delight to spend time with. I looked at old yearbooks filled with well wishes and some were people who have passed away since then. All of these memories reminded me of how lucky I am to be alive, and that I need to use this time I have wisely.

I might have left all of these memories behind, kind of with the expectation that they may be thrown out at some point but I'm so grateful they were still there. I needed the eye opener. My heart was full, and getting to do this walk through time with my mom sitting on the floor with me laughing and talking was just the medicine I needed to love myself as I am right now.

Do you have any ideas that could help someone love theirselves again? Leave a comment below, and help all of us heal more and more daily.